the Shackle Report

This is the second in a series of special reports by Scot Crawford on the Rumsfeld interrogation protocols in action.

Click here to read the introduction

Click here to read “Going Gitmo, Part I — The Sissy-Slap Gloves Are Off”

GOING GITMO PART II: THE FUTILITY APPROACH

Scene:

Viewing room outside interrogation cell in which a detainee is bolted to the floor. He is being viewed through a two-way mirror.

IO: (interrogating officer)

Well, son, howdja do with the sissy-slap glove tactic? Did he tell you where he learned to use a box cutter?

Pfc:(interrogating enlisted man)

Um, no sir. He just started crying and shouting incoherently. I don’t think he understood what the sissy-slap glove meant. Like me. And um, then I put on Benny Goodman and tried the Dance Instruction Technique with him like you said, but he kept throwing himself against the door, so I had to shackle him down again.

IO:

Ah. The old “throw yourself against the door” ploy. These men are good. They’ve been trained not to say anything under the harshest duress. Al Qaeda has their own manual for resisting interrogation: How To Resist Talking to People Torturing You. (HTRTPTY) We in the game call it the “Hiterterpity. It’s right snappy to dance to as well.”

continued. . .

Pfc:

Oh. Well, I mean, sir, if I may, I’m not sure that the detainee knows very much. I mean…everybody keeps saying that the terrorists operate in discrete cells that don’t know what the other cells are doing, and that’s how come they’re effective. I mean…it could be that all he knows is what we already know…

IO:

We can’t take that chance, son. We don’t know shit. And anyway, what are you saying, you want to go to Baghdad and ride around in a Humvee instead? A transfer can be arranged, son, so, just say the word…

Pfc:

No, no, sir…I’m sure I wouldn’t be suited to that kind of duty, sir…although, I was never trained for this duty either, so…I mean, maybe I’m not cut out for this work…I’m really a librarian…I just know a little Arabic…

IO:

Well, no worries at all, son. None of us Americans are too good at interrogation because we usually have oppressive Muslim regimes do it for us so we can preserve our status as leaders in human rights and rule of law. We’ve gotten rusty. But, not to worry, help is on the way.

Pfc::

Really, sir?

IO::

Yep. I pulled some strings and got us some Biscuits comin’ down to help us out with this one.

Pfc:

“Biscuits,” sir?

IO:

That’s right, son. Behavior Science Consultation Teams. Doctors. Headcutters, son. These men are so smart, they can just sit in a room with you and think so hard, you’ll just start telling them how you want to do all this perverted shit you didn’t even know you wanted to do. I suggest you keep your guard up around these men, because they take no prisoners.

Pfc:

Yessir. When are they due to arrive sir?

IO:

I’ve got them on the Hooters Air Red-Dick from Ft. Lauderdale coming in at 0600 hours. We’ll give them some time to freshen up, and then we’ll turn these guys loose on this poor, sad bastard. He’s gonna regret holding out on us, son.

Pfc:

I see, sir. Well. I hope the..uh…“Biscuits” don’t hurt him. He doesn’t seem really all that dangerous right now, sir. He seems more just…you know, freaked out and lonely. I mean…I don’t know… just because he might have been the twentieth hijacker doesn’t mean he knows bin Laden’s location, you know, and, anyway we already know where bin Laden is, it’s just that Musharraf’s political life would be over if he let us capture him…I mean, um, just because this fuck is a crazed, murderous bastard, doesn’t mean he isn’t a human being…I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean “human being” in a positive sense, you know, like “oh, we’re all human, we all make mistakes” kind of way, but just as in, you know, human beings are complicated…I mean, ok, he’s dangerous, but he also asked me whether the earth revolves around the sun, or the sun around the earth, so, he’s clearly not very evolved, you know, along with being just, whatever, pure evil…

IO:

“The earth revolves around the sun…” Haw! That’s rich. Look son, evil doesn’t evolve, any more than good does. Remember that. And evolution is just a theory.

Pfc:

Right…sir. But, it seems like all we’re doing is avenging the Sept. 11th victims, not getting useful information. He’s the twentieth hijacker, okay, but 9-11 already happened. I mean, we know the outcome of that. And we know we should be more careful about who we let on our planes…right…sir?

IO:

You don’t understand, son. ANY information is good information in this brand new kind of war we have to fight with planes and bombs and soldiers just like we’ve always fought our wars. Now, back to business. We should soften this guy up before the Headcutters get here. Let me see, what else is in the HTTP (How To Torture People) manual…ah, “The Futility Approach.” Did we hit him with that yet, son?

Pfc:

Not that I know of, sir.

IO:

That could be just the ticket. Let’s give it a shot. You ready, son? You got your game face on?

Pfc:

Yes…sir…

IO:

Open that door, son!

(note: In the video, you see the two men enter the interrogation cell where the prisoner is shackled to the floor. They stand over him, the IO with his arms crossed aggressively, the Pfc. away from the detainee.)

IO:

Well, good afternoon Mr. Mohammed…do you have everything you need? Have you read your Koran today?

Detainee (Det):

Grrrnnnn….

IO:

What’s he saying, son?

Pfc:

He said “Grrrnnn…,” sir.

IO:

What is that, some kind of heathen prayer?

Pfc:

No, sir. He’s just stressed…And anyway, he doesn’t understand English.

IO:

Perfect. If he’s stressed, he’s sure to crack and tell us everything we need to know…Now. The Futility Approach. I love this one. Son, just follow my lead. Ask him if he’s ever gonna talk.

Pfc::

(in Arabic))Are you ever going to talk?

Det:

(in Arabic) No.

IO:

What did he say, son?

Pfc:

He said “No” sir.

IO::

Goddamnit to hell, this is futile!

Pfc:

Yessir.

IO:

Okay. Tell him how upset I am at all this futility. I’ll pretend I’m sad.

Pfc::

(in Arabic) He’s feeling pretty sad because he thinks this is futile. That you’re never going to talk.

Det:

(in Arabic) I will never talk to you. I don’t care if you are sad.

Pfc:

He says he will never talk and that he doesn’t care if you’re sad.

IO:

My God. Now, son, you see how showing these sandniggers our humane side will never work? It’s eye-for-an-eye or nothing.

Pfc:

Right…sir…um, sir, is it possible that the Futility Approach was supposed to be, like, you know, about convincing him that resisting us is futile…sir?

IO::

No, that’s not it. That’s old school. Primitive stuff.

Det:

(in Arabic) I need to go to the bathroom…

Pfc:

He says he wants to go to the bathroom.

IO:

Oh, he does, does he? Well. Tell him to go in his pants.

Pfc:

Sir?

IO:

You heard me. The sissy-slap gloves are off, I’m through playing games and it’s time to get some boots on the ground, capiche?

Pfc::

Yessir. (in Arabic to detainee) He says to go in your pants…sorry…

Det:

(in Arabic, in pants) Pplllllggggggshhhhh……

IO:

Jesus, that’s disgusting. Now, ask him if he feels humiliated.

Pfc:

(in Arabic)( Do you feel humiliated?

Det:

(in Arabic)This you are doing to me is nothing compared to what Allah will do to you when he takes his revenge on the infidels. Allah’s Sissy Slap glove isn’t inflated.

Pfc:

He says Allah is really going to fuck us up, sir. He says that the sissy-slap glove of Allah isn’t inflated.

IO:

Ahhh, goddamnit to hell! These men are wily, son. Wily! You see why we need the Biscuits, now, don’t you?

Pfc::

Uh. Yessir.

click here for previous scene —

coming next in the Gitmo series: Lights Out

Off the Chain — Going Gitmo — Intro