the Shackle Report

The week’s reading, straight off the razor wire:

TUESDAY

From the NY Times on diplomatic excellence:

CANADA: US SENDS REPLY, BUT NO APOLOGY, IN CASE OF DEPORTED MAN

The government is “satisfied” with an assurance from Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice that Canada will be consulted in the future about any Canadians who may be sent to a third country against their will, said André Lemay, a spokesman for the foreign minister, Peter MacKay.

Ms. Rice made the pledge in a letter to Canadian officials on Friday in response to an official protest lodged Oct. 6 over the treatment of Maher Arar, the Canadian seized in New York on inaccurate terrorism allegations and delivered to Syria for interrogation. Ms. Rice did not address a request that the United States acknowledge “inappropriate conduct.”

—Well, that’s that, then. We’ll let you know when we want to send one of your citizens away to be tortured. “Inappropriate conduct” is strong language, though. How can we command the moral authority we now enjoy if we go around copping to errors? You see the problem. It’s a diplomacy, political thing. You wouldn’t understand.

MONDAY

From the NY Times on our “free” trade policies:

US JOBS SHAPE CONDOM’S ROLE IN FOREIGN AID

EUFAULA, Alabama — Here in this courtly, antebellum town, Alabama’s condom production has survived an onslaught of Asian competition, thanks to the patronage of straitlaced congressmen from this Bible Belt state.

Behind the scenes, the politicians have ensured that companies in Alabama won federal contracts to make billions of condoms over the years for AIDS prevention and family planning programs overseas, though Asian factories could do the job at less than half the cost.

Over the years, USaid could have afforded even more condoms — among the most effective methods for slowing the spread of AIDS — if it had it bought them from the lowest bidders on the world market, as have the United Nations Population Fund and many other donors.

—You know, I think these countries who are depending on us to give them condoms really need to learn to do things for themselves. I mean, how hard can it be to make a condom? They don’t have jobs anyway, right? After they spend some time trying to avoid getting killed and finding some decent leaves and dirt to eat, they could make condoms. Lot’s of Americans have two jobs, and multi-tasking is the new employment zeitgeist so, you know, get with the times you guys. Then our poeple here in Alabama would have more leisure time, and could build their new careers working at Hardee’s and talking to plants.

AS TRUE
AS IT GETS
AND AS LONG
AS YOU GET IT

AIDS SUFFERERS IN AFRICA SUSPECTED OF FAKING SYMPTOMS

In the wake of the furor surrounding Michael J Fox and Rush Limbaugh, in which Mr. Limbaugh accuses Mr. Fox of faking the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease as a political ploy in his campaign ad for a democratic candidate who supports stem cell research, other stories have begun to emerge from Africa about female AIDS sufferers feigning symptoms in order to get free medical treatment, and to shill for their choice of brutal and ineffective regime that promises health care reform only to become worse than those they remove from power.

Medecines sans Frontieres spokesman, Dr. Ronald Good, says these stories are disturbing and inaccurate. “While it’s true that some people are so desperate they will do anything to have someone pay any attention to their pain at all, it’s unlikely that many women have the acting skills to believably fake the slow degeneration of their immune system, weight loss, their life as the sexual prey of men who think condoms impugn their manhood, and giving birth to children who also have AIDS. I mean think about it. Michael J Fox is an accomplished TV actor in a first world country, and even he would be hard-pressed to fake the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease. I don’t think even a Brando, or an Olivier could pull that off, and as we know, Michael J Fox is no Olivier. So how can a poor woman in Africa, who can’t afford even the most basic improv classes, act like they are dying a horrible death?”
—Scot Crawford

AS TRUE
AS IT GETS
AND AS LONG
AS YOU GET IT

CUTOUT AND RUN!

Citing the popularity of the National Guard’s program to supply families with life-size photographs of their soldiers on duty overseas in order to ease the pain of separation, the military has announced plans to expand the “Flat Daddy” program.

Up until now, the photographic cutouts have depicted the soldiers in battle fatigues, gun in hand. After consulting with psychologists, some of whom were involved in the BISCUITS program providing advice on how to best torture detainees at Guantanamo Bay, the military has decided to provide more life-size photographs depicting the soldier in various attitudes of his or her domestic life.

Using home videos and photographs supplied by the families, the National Guard is planning to supply life-sized cutouts of the soldier playing ball with his kids, saying grace at the dinner table, flying into an unreasonable fury at something very minor like a broken water glass because of post-traumatic stress, and in the throes of premature orgasm caused by prolonged lack of sex and difficulty transitioning to intimacy after spending years killing people.

“Our psychologists said that it would help the families cope even better if their father or husband wasn’t always dressed up ready for battle, because it creates a feeling of separation, and a feeling that Daddy has something else on his mind other than being intimate with his loved ones,” said National Guard colonel Milton Major. “We need a more human approach.”

Some psychotherapists have criticized the program, citing the potential for families feeling that the cut-outs “just aren’t the same as the real thing”, leaving them with an enhanced feeling of abandonment. Also, they have warned of the potential for more pain when the soldier comes home, and has to deal with his family’s attachment to the cutout. Dr. Jane Smith said: “It’s very possible that if the soldier has a long tour of duty, the family could develop very strong attachments to the photo, and the soldier’s return could cause more trauma, in the form of separation anxiety from the cutout. After all, there are many advantages to having a photo instead of the real thing. No anger, no discipline for the children, he’s always available, since obviously, he can’t move around by himself. The soldier could return home to almost a Vietnam-like atmosphere of anger and mistrust and disinterest, which could trigger even greater mental strife for soldier and families alike.”

National Guard psychologists have dismissed the criticisms, saying that any normal family will be able to easily transfer their feelings of abandonment to a photograph in a healthy, positive way, and transfer them again to the real soldier upon his return from the theatre of battle with serious psychological problems, difficulty adjusting to civilian life, and the overwhelming desire to reenlist and go back to where he feels wanted. Guard colonel Major said: “If we do run into an instance in which the family struggles to make the adjustment, we will deal with that. We care about our servicemen, and if we have to, we’ll provide a cutout of a psychiatrist to provide family counseling, and cover a large percentage of the cost of treatment.”

—Scot Crawford

LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD PROSTITUTES

By REUTERS

Mayor Annemarie Jorritsma-Lebbink of Almere said on Dutch television that she backed the idea of sending prostitutes to accompany Dutch troops on foreign missions. “The army must consider ways its soldiers can let off steam,” she said. The Netherlands has more than 2,000 soldiers serving abroad, mostly in Afghanistan.

Now we’re talking. I can see victory from here. If they’re getting laid, a small platoon of Dutch soldiers could accomplish what thousands of other coalition forces can’t. They’d be relaxed. They’d be free of the gritty disappointment of masturbation, since that activity reminds you of what you haven’t got. They might feel some guilt and debasement, what with the sense that you’re maybe exploiting a woman a wee bit, but those feelings could be great motivators as they plunge into battle. And it seems that sexual harrassment of female soldiers would plummet if a guy could just “blow off steam” once in a while, the steam they apparently have left over after a day of killing and being attacked.

On the other hand, it could be that prolonged sexual frustration is itself a great technique to get the bloodlust going, but, it really doesn’t seem like we’re winning so maybe it’s time to change course. Maybe it’s time to send over prostitutes, strip clubs, peep shows, bars, and organized crime syndicates to handle the illicit drug trade that inevitably accompanies these vices. Hey, what about hits of ecstasy included in the Meals Ready to Eat? And how can you export secular democracy without showing Muslims how to liberate their women into an exciting career in prostitution? Don’t you think that those Dutch prostitutes are going: “Finally, a job that’s not just a job, it’s an adventure!”

Sending prostitutes seems like a far better way to go than the American tactic. We sent over the Purrfect Angelz, a collection of cheerleaders and exotic dancers to do mock lap dances and sing patriotic songs, and show a little ankle to our boys. I mean, I support our troops, just not the Iraq war, so if some cheerleaders make them forget their troubles for a while, right on. But if I were a soldier, I’d go crazy, because you can’t have sex with them. And there’s apparently a no alcohol or drug policy for the troops over there, which apparently isn’t so effective, but still, it’s hard to get in the mood for some sexual frustration without getting a little buzz on. Maybe I’m hard to please, but I’d feel cheated and fucked with.

I don’t know anything about Dutch prostitution practices, or anyone else’s, but I do know from casual research that American prostitutes offer a service called GFE, for “Girlfriend Experience”, where, instead of just a businesslike transaction, the woman acts like she cares for the man. The Dutch being so progressive, they probably have a much wider and less puritanistic range of services. Probably they have WE, for “Wife Experience”, and SE, for “Sister Experience” (no sex there, but the woman could fake sibling love, or hatred, as requested.) ME for “Mom Experience” I think would be a great therapeutic practice. (No sex again, but the woman could fake unconditional love, tainted with a mournful and barely concealed sense of disappointment).

I mean, in the old days, when America fought good wars, Marilyn Monroe and Bob Hope would go and entertain the troops. We have no equivalent of those two today, since they were part of the Greatest Generation, and we’re part of the Pathetic and Shallow generation, so we’re going to have to get creative. Cheerleaders are good, but I think we need to get more progressive if we want our troops to “stay the course”. Oh, excuse me, we’re not staying the course anymore, we’re “cutting, whimpering, and crawling away.” Cutting and running would be undignified, not like cheerleaders titillating twenty year olds who fear every day that they will never have sex again.

—Scot Crawford

AS TRUE
AS IT GETS
AND AS LONG
AS YOU GET IT

READY, AIM, FIRE!

Flush from their recent victory in Brazil, where they helped defeat a gun control referendum in a country with the highest gun-related death toll in the world, the NRA has turned its attention to preserving gun rights in Iraq.

“It’s imperative that we firmly establish the right to keep and bear arms right at the outset in Iraq,” said the former President of the NRA, Charlton Heston. “There are a lot of cold, dead hands over there, and we need to ensure that when the guns are pried out of them, those guns are put in warm, live hands, and used to hunt, for self-defense, and to protect the citizenry from the government. What kind of democracy is it when a man can’t take his AK 47 out on a fine morning and stalk the wily ibis, or shoot a policeman, or his neighbor?”

In Brazil, the NRA swung public opinion from its pro-referendum position, to a position favoring gun ownership, by pointing out that if the government would take away one civil right, what’s to stop them from taking others?

In their push to put a version of the American second amendment into the Iraqi constitution, the NRA has flooded the country with hunters tightly gripping their rifles and shotguns and wearing bright orange clothing to avoid being accidentally shot by one another. They have staged protests, marching through the streets of Baghdad firing their guns at random to demonstrate to the Iraqis the joy of being free to shoot things.

Iraqi President Jalal Talabani has been mildly critical of the NRA’s presence in his country: “These men are confusing things, and getting in the way. They are making it very difficult for our police to execute people from other sects. The last thing we need is another group to kidnap, murder and drill holes in. We have our hands full as it is. Anyway, we Iraqis are quite familiar with the heady rush of shooting off guns.”

Asked to respond to Mr. Talabani’s comments, Mr. Heston said: “Well, what do you expect? I don’t think he’s even an American.”

—Scot Crawford

The week’s reading, straight off the razor wire:

FRIDAY

From the NY Times on some immigration concerns:

WITH BEHEADINGS AND ATTACKS, DRUG GANGS TERRORIZE MEXICO

URUAPAN, Mexico — Norteño music was blaring at the Sol y Sombra bar on Sept. 6 when several men in military garb broke up the late night party. Waving high-powered machine guns, they screamed at the crowd to stay put and then dumped the contents of a heavy plastic bag on the dance floor.
Five human heads rolled to a bloody stop.
“This is not something you see every day,” said a bartender, who asked not to be named for fear of losing his own head. “Very ugly.”

“You don’t do something like that unless you want to send a big message,” said one United States law enforcement official here…

—So true. And the message is: “You better build a mucho grande wall, gringos. Comprendo?”

THURSDAY

From Haaretz on more German strangeness:

GERMAN RAIL FIRM OPPOSES DISPLAYS OF AUSCHWITZ DEPORTATIONS AT STATIONS

Hopes to stage an exhibition at railway stations around Germany on the deportation of Jewish children to Auschwitz by train have sparked a row between the organizers and the country’s rail operator.

Serge and Beate Klarsfeld, who have devoted their lives to tracking down former Nazis and bringing them to justice, want Deutsche Bahn to host an exhibition of photographs of Holocaust victims as successor to Hitler’s wartime Reichsbahn.

“We want to show the relationship between the children and the stations … that these children were captured and sent by train to their deaths in Auschwitz,” Beate Klarsfeld said.

Deutsche Bahn’s Chief Executive Hartmut Mehdorn has resisted pressure to allow the exhibitions on platforms, arguing its own museum in Nuremberg is a better forum for the event.

“We have a good exhibition and we are ready to show this in places other than Nuremberg,” Mehdorn has told Die Welt newspaper. “However, we don’t think much of showing it in railway stations or on railway platforms.”

“This subject is far too serious for people to take in while chewing on their bread rolls on their way to catch a train.”

—I’d say so. It may make them afraid of taking the train at all, seeing how terribly awry such a thing can go.

WEDNESDAY

From Al Jazeera about spreading appalling visciousness and barbarity:

GERMAN “PEACEKEEPERS” CAUGHT UP IN ABUSE SCANDAL IN AFGHANISTAN

Nearly three years after the U.S. abuse scandal in Iraq first came to light, another one involving the German “peacekeepers” in Afghanistan has just surfaced threatening to tarnish the image of the entire NATO-led force in the country.

Soldiers appearing in the appalling pictures published by Germany’s biggest-selling daily, Bild, are believed to be German “peacekeepers”, part of NATO-led International Security Assistance Force (ISAF), deployed near the capital, Kabul, in early 2003.

In one of the pictures, a soldier places the skull on the cablecutter at the front of a patrol vehicle, bearing the German flag and the acronym for the international force, ISAF. In another, one soldier wearing a bullet-proof vest poses with the skull next to his exposed penis.

— Bet those Abu Ghraib guys are kicking themselves for not thinking of necrophilia. Bet that skull just couldn’t stop divulging important strategic information.

TUESDAY

From the NY Times on a great leap forward in Iraq policy:

BUSH ABANDONS PHRASE ‘STAY THE COURSE’ ON IRAQ

—He’s changed to a new phrase: ‘Oh, God, my God, what am I going to do? Hello? God? Oh, boy…’

MONDAY

From the NY Times on preserving the peace of mind of the troops:

DEBT IS KEEPING TROOPS FROM OVERSEAS DUTY, STUDY FINDS

Thousands of American troops are being barred from overseas duty because they are so deep in debt that they are considered security risks, according to a review of military records by The Associated Press.

The number of revoked clearances has surged since the beginning of the Iraq war, but military officials say there is no evidence that troops are deliberately running up debts to stay out of harm’s way.

A primary reason the military revokes clearances on financial grounds is the fear that soldiers in debt may be tempted to sell secrets or equipment to the enemy. In addition, “when they are over there fighting, we like them to have their heads in the game,” said Maj. Gen. Michael Lehnert, commander of Marine bases in the Western United States.

—That’s considerate. There’s nothing worse than trying to shoot people when you’ve got a nagging debt on your mind. How can you concentrate? And soldiers may not be running out and buying cars and houses and i pods to avoid service but it’s only a matter of time. You can be a consumerist conscientious objector. Although, being in debt is so anxiety provoking that, I’d be like, let me go to war, let me! I’d be fearless, taking out my frustration at being broke on some damn Iraqis, and running into harm’s way just to get out of debt by being dead.

The week’s reading, straight off the razor wire:

FRIDAY

From Haaretz on being fruitful and multiplying:

PRISON SERVICE TO ALLOW CONJUGAL VISITS FOR RABIN ASSASSIN AMIR

The prison service is following the recommendation of the Shin Bet security service. Shin Bet chief Yuval Diskin said Friday, in response to a petition Amir filed with the Tel Aviv District Court on Wednesday, that the conjugal visits do not pose a security risk.

Amir, who is serving a life sentence without parole for the 1995 assassination of Rabin, married Larisa Trimbobler by proxy in 2004. He fought for, and eventually won, legal recognition of the marriage.

The prison service announced in March that Amir is allowed to provide sperm samples for the artificial insemination of his wife, after rejecting the couple’s demands to be allowed conjugal visits on the grounds that he could use them to pass political messages to his supporters.

But civil liberties experts have sided with Amir, noting that marriage and child-rearing is a basic right enjoyed by other convicted murderers in Israel, including Arabs jailed for violent attacks.

—Well, I was going to make a joke about having sex through a hole in a sheet, but then I realized that was a myth, based on what happens to me after a few too many. And I read this:

The times for conjugal duty prescribed in the Torah are: for men of independence, every day; for laborers, twice a week; for ass-drivers, once a week; for camel-drivers, once in thirty days; for sailors, once in six months…

—…for assassins, just the one time after they kill someone, twice if the person killed has a chance of changing the world for the better, and every hour for all eternity if he kills someone who has a genuine shot at implementing a viable peace process, whose death prolongs an undesirable war everyone really wants.

—I agree with this decision. What political messages would he pass on to his wife on a conjugal visit? “Ahhhh…yes…yes finally! Oh, god, I hate jail! Tell our comrades jail sucks! It sucks!”

—Anyway, I’d be a bit more troubled by the genes passed on than political messages. What if there’s a special gene for fanatical and violent acts as a way of subverting legitimate and forward-thinking political action? Not that I’m all mister Nazi eugenics or anything, but it might be wise to weed out the nutters as long as you’ve caught them.

—And the Abu Ghraib scandal might also be something to consider. What if this descends into an S/M deal, with videos, and guards with inmate-sex screen savers? It’s a slippery slope, and there are always a few bad apples. Though, I guess if the guards were all “men of independence” who have sex every day, you wouldn’t have to worry too much. Don’t hire any sailors though, no matter how much they beg.

THURSDAY

From the NY Times :

ISRAEL WARRIORS FIND MACHISMO IS WAY OF PAST

TEL AVIV, Oct. 18 — For decades it was widely accepted that some of Israel’s top military officers and government ministers considered sexual encounters with female employees a seigneurial right.

The militaristic nature of Israeli society has eased, partly as it feels more secure and partly as Western influence has increased. An effort by the army to prevent its male soldiers from crying at the funerals of their fallen comrades, for example, has failed. In the past such open displays of grief were considered a sign of weakness.

—I’ve found that open displays of grief are a sign of weakness, but maybe at a military funeral it’s alright. If they cry while bombing and fighting, that’s a problem. Maybe just tweak the policy.

—I still rate the Jews ahead of Muslims on the progressivism chart. See, having sex with a young woman employee who doesn’t want to is so different than forcibly raping a woman who has been raped to punish her. In the latter case, it would be very hard for the woman to maintain any dignity through and after her ordeal. In contrast, the young woman who has sex with her senior officer can feel proud that she was the recipient of his largesse, as it is an indication of her own worth. And she gets to keep her job, and to have one. Now, some would say that this is not a great accomplishment on the part of the Israeli military. To the contrary.

WEDNESDAY

From the NY Times on women encountering some resistance in their rush to equality:

VENDETTA RAPES CONTINUE AS PAKISTAN RESISTS CHANGE

Pursuing justice is not easy for a woman in Pakistan, not if the crime is rape. Ghazala Shaheen knows.

Two years ago, relatives say, an uncle eloped with a woman from a higher social caste. The revenge by the woman’s family was the rape of Ms. Shaheen, she and relatives charge, after a gang of men raided her father’s home and abducted her and her mother in late August.

Under what are known as the Hudood laws in Pakistan, a woman must produce four witnesses to prove rape. A failure to do so can result in her becoming a victim twice over, and being charged for adultery. The stigma alone is enough to keep many women from trying to bring their attackers to justice.

“We have apprehended the main accused,” said Shahid Hanif, the district police chief of Khanewal, who seemed exasperated by the case. “No one is happy with police,” he said. “What else does she expect us to do? We recovered her. We have arrested the man accused. Does she expect us to kill him? We can’t do that.”

—Oh, no, don’t kill him. Let the woman and her family sodomize him with the tool of their choice, and then let a pack of women stone him, and tip a wall over on him. An eye for an eye, you know?

TUESDAY

From the Associated Press on working the system:

JUST ASKING TO BE CAUGHT, THIEF SOLVES JOBLESSNESS

A man who could not find steady work came up with a plan to make it through the next few years until he could collect Social Security: He robbed a bank, handed the money to a guard and waited for the police.

“At my age, the jobs available to me are minimum-wage jobs,” Mr. Bowers, who will turn 63 in a few weeks, told the judge, Angela White. “There is age discrimination out there.”

He pleaded guilty to robbery, and a court-ordered psychological exam found him competent… the man, Timothy J. Bowers, told a judge that a three-year prison sentence would suit him, and the judge obliged..

—I think this sets a bad precedent. Proper punishment would be to force him to find a job, but put a ball and chain on his leg, and tell everyone in town he’s a sex predator. It’s a kind of three strikes deal, but tweaked.

MONDAY

From the NY Times on some very thorough people:

AMISH SCHOOLHOUSE IS RAZED

The one-room schoolhouse where 10 girls were shot last week, built by hand three decades ago by the Amish it served, was demolished by heavy machinery yesterday in the hope of easing the community’s pain.

—That’s taking closure to the next level.

The week’s reading, straight off the razor wire:

WEDNESDAY

KIM HAS CASE OF ‘MALIGN NARCISSISIM’, EXPERT SAYS

Kim Jong Il is neither insane nor stupid.

From the CIA’s psychological profilers to his many biographers, experts who have studied the North Korean leader believe that beneath the glaring eccentricities — the bouffant hairdo and the oddball Mao suits — there is a shrewd operator at work.

“You have other world leaders whose fathers led before them — King Abdullah of Jordan, Bashar Assad of Syria — but their job pales in comparison to Kim Jong Il…. He had to be the son of God and to sustain the charismatic cult of personality,” Post said.

A psychiatrist by training, Post does not believe that Kim is psychotic but that he has a dangerous personality disorder that Post diagnoses as “malign narcissism.” As such, Kim has loyalty only to himself and lacks the ability to consider other people’s feelings.

Kim is known to love cinema. He once ordered the kidnapping of a South Korean actress and her director husband to run North Korea’s film studio. He wrote a book, “On the Art of Cinema,” on using film to instill socialist values in the masses. His first serious job, at 30, was with the Department of Propaganda and Agitation for the ruling Workers’ Party.

He oversaw a propaganda machine that maintained the elaborate mythology about the ruling family, including the claim that his own birth (like that of Christ) was heralded by the appearance of a bright star.

But Kim was not so delusional to be fooled by his own propaganda, and he knew he would need more to keep himself in power. After 1980, he turned his attention from cinema to weapons of mass destruction. Others say Kim merely wanted respect, particularly from the United States, and would have traded away his nuclear weapons in exchange for diplomatic recognition of his regime.

—Well, he is shrewd. Everybody knows the cinema gets no respect. Not like WMD. It wasn’t like we invaded Iraq to rid the world of bad movies. And I can see how following god himself could make one callous towards the feelings of others. The pressure! The need for recognition and attention. Tell you what, when the citizenry is starving to death because of you, you’re going to get some attention.

TUESDAY

From the LA Times on a welcome and totally apt development:

US SAYS BLACKS IN MISSISSIPPI SUPPRESS WHITE VOTE

MACON, Miss., Oct. 5 — The Justice Department has chosen this no-stoplight, courthouse town buried in the eastern Mississippi prairie for an unusual civil rights test: the first federal lawsuit under the Voting Rights Act accusing blacks of suppressing the rights of whites.

The action represents a sharp shift…

—Really? From what to what? Hey, the sixties was a long time ago, we need to move on…

Oop, what’s this from Harper’s about the 2004 elections in Ohio?

The first phase of [Republican]malfeasance entailed, among many other actions, several months of bureaucratic hijinks aimed at disenfranchising Democrats, the most spectacular result of which was “a wide discrepancy between the availability of voting machines in more minority, Democratic and urban areas as compared to more Republican, suburban and exurban areas.”

At Kenyon College in Gambier, for instance, there were only two machines for 1,300 would-be voters, even though “a surge of late registrations promised a record vote.” Gambier residents and Kenyon students had to stand in line for hours, in the rain and in “crowded, narrow hallways,” with some of them inevitably forced to call it quits. “In contrast, at nearby Mt. Vernon Nazarene University, which is considered more Republican leaning, there were ample waiting machines and no lines.” This was not a consequence of limited resources. In Franklin County alone, as voters stood for hours throughout Columbus and elsewhere, at least 125 machines collected dust in storage. The county’s election officials had “decided to make do with 2,866 machines, even though the analysis showed that the county needs 5,000 machines.”

—Hey. No one said voting, or democracy itself for that matter, was going to be easy. And you know, Republicans are powerful operators for sure, as they should be, but you can’t blame them for the rain just because George Bush happens to be very close to God. There’s no evidence that the President tried to influence the weather, and we can’t release the documents relating to his discussions with God because of national security. What if the terrorists were privy to the thoughts of the Christian God, and they turned around and sold that information to Allah? And he gave that information to bin Laden, who used it to create another attack? What then? What if bin Laden attacks God himself? You traitors just don’t see the big picture.

The Justice Department’s main focus [in the case in Mississippi] is Ike Brown, a local power broker whose imaginative electoral tactics have for 20 years caused whisperings from here to the state capital in Jackson, 100 miles to the southwest. Mr. Brown, tall, thin, a twice-convicted felon, the chairman of the Noxubee County Democratic Executive Committee and its undisputed political boss, is accused by the federal government of orchestrating — with the help of others — “relentless voting-related racial discrimination” against whites, whom blacks outnumber by more than 3 to 1 in the county.

— A felon?! Goddamnit, they aren’t even supposed to be able to vote since we illegally disenfranchised them! And now, he’s a power broker!

Mr. Brown is accused in the lawsuit and in supporting documents of paying and organizing notaries, some of whom illegally marked absentee ballots or influenced how the ballots were voted; of publishing a list of voters, all white, accompanied by a warning that they would be challenged at the polls; of importing black voters into the county; and of altering racial percentages in districts by manipulating the registration rolls.

Up and down South Jefferson Street, though, in the old brick commercial district, the white merchants refused to be quoted, for fear of alienating black customers. “There’s a lot of voting irregularities, but that’s all I’m going to say,” one woman said, ending the conversation abruptly.

—This is a travesty. What’s next, the blacks are going to start burning crosses on whites’ lawns, having sex with helpless young white girls, and lynching white people? We’re going backward.

From the LA Times on a poofball pschologist’s diagnosis of a man who is clearly an evildoer:

MONDAY

A cheery tale from the Washington Post:

VIRGINIA PARENTS TRYING TO UNADOPT TROUBLED BOY

A no-nonsense, old-school “professional parent,” [Helen] Briggs figured she could handle him. When the boy acted out, she gave him limits. When he began pulling his hair out, she had it shaved. And when he kept running away from school and her Lorton townhouse, she turned him over to her husband for a whupping, just like she got as a child…

—When that didn’t work, she burned the school to the ground, killed her husband, and beat the boy senseless with a hammer, like old school parents do. Oh, when can we get back to those days?

The week’s reading, straight off the razor wire:

MONDAY

From the NY Times about it being time for religious tolerance to just please go away:

MUSLIM CABDRIVERS MAY HAVE TO SIGNIFY ALCOHOL-FREE CARS

MINNEAPOLIS, Sept. 30 (AP) — Hundreds of Muslim cabdrivers at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport may soon be required to put different colored lights atop their vehicles after refusing to take customers they know are carrying alcohol.

— It’s a pretty, fashionable, reddish light that says: “On Duty: Uptight Medieval Freak.”