10 ways
10 surefire ways to get an American journalist to convert to Islam
10. Pull out his toenails.
9. Cut out his byline.
8. Confiscate his Blackberry.
7. Kidnap his companion animal and threaten to turn her into a lamp.
6. Threaten him with snarling dogs, waterboarding and sleep deprivation.
5. Make him undergo psychoanalysis with Tom Cruise.
4. Swap his house for a FEMA trailer.
3. Call him a pussy.
2. Question his journalistic integrity.
1. Offer to free him if.