the Shackle Report

The week’s reading, straight off the razor wire:

WEDNESDAY

From the LA Times about euphemism:

HUNGRY? NO, IT’S A LACK OF FOOD SECURITY

WASHINGTON — The U.S. government has vowed that Americans will never be hungry again. But they may experience “very low food security.”

Mark Nord, a USDA sociologist and lead author of the report, said Wednesday that “hungry” was “not a scientifically accurate term for the specific phenomenon being measured in the food security survey.”

The department said that 12% of Americans — 35 million people — could not put food on the table at least part of last year. Eleven million of them reported going hungry at times. Beginning this year, the Agriculture Department has determined “very low food security” to be a more scientifically palatable description for that group.

—I have a better description for them than that. “Lazy-ass motherfuckers with too many TVs.” And I want to know how many of them are black, because as Kramer has reminded us, there are some niggers out there still, and, well, you know what they’re like. Anyway, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I’m going to go grab a bite. Can I get you 35 million folks anything?

TUESDAY

From the Washington Post on some religious upheaval:

POPE PRESIDES AT VATICAN SUMMIT ON CELIBACY

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) – Pope Benedict met top advisers on Thursday to discuss the status of celibacy among Roman Catholic clergy and requests by married priests who want to return to the active ministry.

The meeting of more than 20 heads of Vatican departments was called to debate a Vatican strategy to deal with a renegade African archbishop who has founded a movement of men who left the active ministry to wed and want to return as married men.

—I think if you’ve got the Catholic God bug going on for you, you ought to be able to be a priest no matter who you are. But you may want to check these guys for HIV, what with the Catholic Church’s progressive stance on condoms and all. Also, I’ve heard HIV is a problem in some African nations. Oh, and there have been whispers that some Catholic priests like to have sex with young boys from their flock, and they could get HIV, too. The last thing you guys need is another scandal. Just a heads up.

MONDAY

From the NY Times on lowered expectations:

A CAPTAIN’S JOURNEY FROM HOPE TO JUST GETTING HER UNIT HOME

BAGHDAD, Nov. 18 — Capt. Stephanie A. Bagley and the military police company she commands arrived in Iraq in December 2005 brimming with optimism about taking on one of the most urgent tasks in Iraq: building a new police force.

Now, as the 21st Military Police Company approaches the end of a deployment marked by small victories and enormous disappointments, Captain Bagley is focused on a more modest goal.

“I just want to get everyone home,” she said. In the past several weeks, Captain Bagley, 30, barred her troops from foot patrols in the most violent neighborhoods and eliminated all nonessential travel. “I’m just not willing to lose another soldier,” she said.

—Well, I’m with you. On the other hand, you might best become willing. It’s kind of inevitable, now, no?

At the beginning of her deployment, she hoped that by the end of the year the police would be able to respond to calls from any neighborhood without American help. But after the bombing of an important Shiite shrine in February incited a surge in sectarian violence, she decided that goal was unrealistic.

She decided to focus on developing the top officers, particularly the station commanders. “We realized that if we didn’t have a strong leader, the station won’t work,” she said.

—Must have been a blinding revelation. Kind of like how I felt in the 2000, and 2004, elections, and, for that matter, every other one I’ve had to live through. But I still believe in the process. I do.