gitmo panty raid
Lawyers for Gitmo detainees were accused recently of smuggling underpants to detainees — specifically a pair of briefs by Under Armour (a company that markets a line of temperature-control “performance” underclothing), and a Speedo bathing suit.
The reply of one of the lawyers, is a masterpiece of its genre, despite a few redundancies. For example, “On the issue of the Speedo swimming trunks,” he wrote, “my research really does not help very much. I cannot imagine who would want to give my client Speedos, or why. Mr. Aamer is hardly in a position to go swimming, since the only available water is the toilet in his cell.
“I should say that your letter brought to mind a sign in the changing room of a local swimming pool,” he concludes, “which showed someone diving into a lavatory, with the caption, “We don’t swim in your toilet, so please don’t pee in our pool”. I presume that nobody thinks that Mr. Aamer wears Speedos while paddling in his privy.
“Please assure me that you are satisfied that neither I nor my colleagues had anything to do with this. In light of the fact that you felt it necessary to question whether we had violated the rules, I look forward to hearing the conclusion of your investigation.
“All the best.
“Yours sincerely,
“Clive A. Stafford Smith”