In the News, Week of Oct. 21, 2007
The week’s reading, straight off the razor wire:
SUNDAY
From the Washington Post on nipping things in the bud:
IS THAT 4-YEAR-OLD REALLY A SEX OFFENDER?
Like many 3-year-olds, my son is very affectionate. He likes watching “Thomas the Tank Engine” on television and playing “Simon Says.” Could my son be accused of sexual harassment?
—I don’t know. When he plays “Simon Says” does he say; “Simon Says ‘blow me.’”?
I recently learned that children nationwide, some of preschool age, have been suspended from school or taken to jail after being accused of sexual harassment. In their zeal to avoid lawsuits, educators seem to be ignoring important information, such as whether the accused child intended to commit a crime or even knows how to pronounce the word “harassment.”
—Or knows what “intend” means. Or “crime”. Or “commit”. But, hey, in our system, ignorance of the law is not an excuse.
Sex education tends to be controversial, partly because parents have such varying and often strongly held beliefs about how, when and even if the topic should be introduced to their children.
—Sex education tends to be controversial because people don’t get enough of it, when they do it’s not that good, and it’s more complicated and emotionally taxing then they think it should be. So, out of confusion and revenge, they turn around and totally fuck their kids on the issue. Metaphorically speaking, I mean. Most of the time it’s metaphorical, anyway.
But if schools have the authority to brand a 3-year-old a sex offender, they also have the responsibility to provide parents with clear guidelines about appropriate physical conduct.
—Ooh, “branding”. Stop it, you’re turning me on.
You know what? I think kids are growing up too fast now. We should go back to the old days, when we kept them in the dark until they were in a total twist about the whole issue, became shitty lovers because they had no experience ’cause they got married too early and only ever fucked one person, and spent their whole lives trying to figure out why sex sort of sucked when everyone also thought it was supposed to be a good thing. Then they have to go out and by books to study up on how to be a decent lay, so when they try to fuck they have all that information running around in their heads along with the performance anxiety, fear of getting fired, and that strong underlying sense that they don’t really like this person.
—Scot Crawford