BP on it
BP, the energy giant responsible for the Gulf oil spill, has finally hit upon a clean-up and capping plan they claim is much more feasible than trying to fill the hole with golf balls, now that Tiger Woods has hurt himself.
Noting that Greece is in a financial bind these days and that the Greek people are famously hirsute, and that the hair socks sent to the Gulf from salons around the world have protected the Gulf wetlands like the levees protected New Orleans, BP has floated the following proposal to the Prime Minister of Greece: If Greece will send its citizens to swim in the Gulf for as long as it takes to soak up the oil, BP will pay down the beleaguered nation’s debt, promise not to drill for oil off Greek shores, and return some of the antiquities taken by the British over the years. The people will be squeegee’d off to collect the oil for refining, and the well will be allowed to gush until it runs dry on its own. This will mean that there will be no need for future drilling, the field being dry, and no risk of future oil spills.
Initial responses to the proposal were subdued, with the Greek Prime Minister noting frostily; “It is the Turks that are really hairy. Have the barbarians at BP never heard the phrase; ‘he has a body like a Greek god’? Does ‘The Discus Thrower’ have fur?”
The Turkish Ambassador said that he was surprised the Greeks said anything without hiding in a horse first.
BP is now considering withdrawing the proposal, not wanting a blood spill to get out of control in the Mediterranean before they have the technology to cap it.
Scot Crawford